Lilah Higgins is a mama of two gorgeous adventurers, living in Wyoming at the foot of the amazing Yellowstone National Park – the perfect place for little adventurers to grow up! She is raising her babes while building her branding & coaching business, The Higgins Creative, for Makers & Creatives who#waketomakewith their head, heart, & hands.
Mama Talk is a space for mamas, soon-to-be mamas and future mamas to get together (with that reheated cup of coffee) and chat about pregnancy, parenting and mamahood. If you haven’t seen our first Mama Talk interview featuring Entrice Rowe check it out here >> Mama Talk: Give Yourself Grace with Entrice Rowe . We are so grateful that we have the opportunity to share some of Lilah’s Mamahood story with you today.
Lilah, could you share with us a bit about your family background and where you are in the journey of Motherhood?
I’m Lilah, wife to my high school best friend & mama to two toddlers Fletcher and Elladee. I was raised by my awesome parents, who ran their own business and homeschooled me and my siblings. My husband and I met freshman year of high school and we were best friends and we got married at 18 and he was 19. 18 months later we had our first son Fletcher and 18 months after that we had our daughter Ellie. Right now Fletcher is 3 1/2 and Ella just turned 2. So one is potty trained, and the second is close. We’re finally getting to a point with them where things are becoming less stressful and more fun!
Can you share with us one of the funniest experiences you’ve had since becoming a parent?
I’m not sure I can think of one that stands out in my mind as the funniest, but as they get older they have these ideas that come from nowhere and it’s hilarious to see them have conversations between the two of them. We were recently on a walk and Ella said that she loved the waterfall (it’s a man-made pond in the park that we go to) and Fletcher scolded her and said “We can’t love the waterfall! Or swim in there. It has chemicals, Ella!”
How has your husband changed or grown since becoming a parent? And how has that affected you?
Zac has is so good at being a dad. There are days where I don’t feel like being a mom and I can get really frustrated about it and he always swoops in. He’s always there for them and he loves on them and he gives me the break when I need it. I’m not sure he’s change so much because he’s always wanted kids. But he’s become really happy with where we’re at and the influence we get have on our kids. He’s a dreamer so he keeps me excited about life when things are hard and we’re in a tough season.
During your pregnancies did you ever experience any fear or worry about something specific or in general? How were you able to overcome it?
During pregnancy, I cried a lot. I always say I wasn’t a happy pregnant lady. Both of our kids were unexpected and honestly, I mourned my freedom. But at the same time I worried and felt fear over being a good mom for them and be able to handle everything that comes with pregnancy and motherhood. I was sick for the entire nine months I was pregnant with both of them. Some days I would throw up five or six times before I even ate anything. I don’t know if I ever did overcome my fears because I still fear for my kids and the world they live in. I think fear can be a healthy measuring stick but when it begins to consume you that’s when you know it’s time to do something about it. I struggled with postpartum depression after Fletcher and now that I’m out of it, I can better judge of what is a realistic fear and what is not. Being around other moms who have been there is really helpful for me because it gives me hope and helps me rest in the process. But I don’t think fear is ever going to leave me as a mom, I just do my best to tame it and not let is consume me.
What is one thing you swore you would never do when you had kids, but ended up doing it anyway because…well, life happens?
I didn’t think I was going to want to homeschool my kids, but the older they get and the more teach them how to clean themselves and eat and learn their letters and colors and shapes, the more I want to teach them everything. I want to have control over what they learn and and be the one to shape them in a way that is true to them and specific for the things that they are called to in this life.
Every now and again mamas receive some great advice on pregnancy or parenting – can you recall what has been the best advice you’ve ever received?
Some of the best advice I ever received on pregnancy or parenting would be to take time each day to do one thing for yourself. As parents we pour so much out of ourselves and often there’s not much left. So even if it’s something simple like painting your nails or taking a walk or having a moment of quiet on the back porch, these things can help reset us and ultimately make us better parents who can better engage with our kids.
Sometimes we also receive the worst advice ever, can you share some of the crazy advice you may have received?
I actually had someone tell me the other day that I shouldn’t be stressed out because there’s pretty people who want to watch my kids. I think people try to give advice and try to be encouraging but they often don’t know what they’re talking about. And a lot of the times it’s moms who are veterans and it’s been a long time since they had toddlers and they don’t remember the daily struggle and the feelings of being in that season. They can only see through their own lens, which is somehow full of tons of free babysitters….
You’ve just recently launched your new course “It’s not brand surgery” all while continuing to grow your business, how do you manage being a mom and launching a new course?
My husband is how. He picks up where I lack in the housework, in parenting, and in caring for them while I’m working. Also, I often tell people about this idea I hold about working in the margins. You’ve got 5 minutes here, ten minutes there, an hour here, all weekend here and you can get a lot of work done when you learn to be really focused in those times. And it definitely helps to have a partner who is on board and supportive.
What is one of the biggest struggles you’ve faced either during pregnancy or as a parent? How would you advise other mamas if they are facing a similar struggle?
As a mother I struggle with the expectations I put on myself. I expect myself to perform well, I expect myself to love parenting, I expect myself to be joyful because of these great kids God gave me. But I just don’t all the time. It’s just not realistic. So letting go of my own expectations is my biggest struggle because I have this idea in my head of what I should look like or feel like and it rarely happens as I expect it to. And then I live in guilt because I’m not living up to those expectations. But if those expectations were different or less. I would be able to live in freedom.
What has been one of the best date nights with your husband since having kids?
We recently went out to a local pizza place and we got $10 worth of tokens and played in the arcade for a few hours. At the end we collected our tickets and bought the kids a bunch of stupid little knickknacks. It was so much fun.
Mamas need to take time for themselves, can you tell us what your favorite “me-time” thing is to do?
Yes mom time is so needed. My favorite me time thing to do is sitting at the coffee shop and often I say I’m working but really I’m just people watching.
What is one of the funniest things your kids have said to you before?
Fletcher told me the other day “Get me coffee, oh that’s so nice of you.”
From your experience as a mama, what would you say to other mamas who are starting their journey into motherhood?
Let go of what you think it’s going to be like, because it might end up like you expected but it most likely won’t. And work on the art of going with the flow and embracing the journey that you’re on and giving yourself grace in the process of this huge step that you’re taking.
Lilah, I can’t thank you enough for taking the time to share your experiences with us. May your mamahood journey continue to be blessed abundantly and filled with crazy, fun and adventurous moments with Ella & Fletcher.
We would love YOU to share your mamahood journey with us and share your experiences with other mamas. We can all benefit from your wisdom and maybe have a good chuckle at some funny stories you have. If you’re interested in being a guest on Mama Talk let’s chat here >>Mama Talk Guest
Lilah Higgins is a branding designer + coach based in Cody, Wyoming, right at the foot of Yellowstone National Park. When she’s not chasing around her toddlers like a crazy woman or spending time with her techie husband, she is working alongside talented Makers by providing them with logos, branding, and design consultation. She drinks her coffee iced and enjoys opening her home to people and telling the stories of Makers & Creatives. She’s also the founder of the #waketomake hashtag on Instagram. You can find her at www.thehigginscreative.com